Author: baftzjfz

Mollington Golf Club News: Mollington Player Profile

Mollington has been a place regarded as one for the toffs and well-off. Though we cannot deny our elitist status, some do manage to slip through the cracks of our profile checks and one lucky member managed to cling on to their membership through great fortune and luck that allows him to remain part of the Mollington Golf Club.

Here in this new article, we interview John Partridge, though this is his former name. After willing a huge jackpot through gambling on an online casino, the once former John Partridge now goes by the self-titled name of Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV.

We sit down with Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV and discuss his life, his experiences, golfing and why he has a passion for crackers that are a cheese snack supplement.

Interviewer: “Hello Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV, would you like for me to address you by your full title or do your friends have a shortened name for you?”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Hello. Well, those I’m on a first-name basis with call me Lord. My closer acquaintances beyond this call me Dalston and my closest friends and family members call me Cheesy. As I’m unaware of who you actually are, Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV would be sufficient when addressing me.”

Interviewer: “Indeed. So, you’ve been a member of the golf club for 5-years now. Tell us why you chose Mollington and how you got into golf.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Mollington was the closest course to my home and there was a hole in the fence by the 15th hole, so I took the opportunity to sneak in an pay a few rounds before I managed to raise suspicion.”

Interviewer: “Raise suspicion? How so if you sneaked on to the course?”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “I would dress in a full-size chicken costume.”

Interviewer: “Your actions were soon discovered by the club, were they not? After some members reported a 6ft chicken on the golf course. What happened that day?”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Yes, I was teeing up on the 9th, when I heard shouting. I realized at that moment my ingenious plan had been rumbled. My instincts told me, rather than run, which isn’t easy in a chicken costume, that I should pretend to lay eggs.

With my golf balls in-hand inside of my costume ready, I pretended I was, in fact, a 6ft chicken. With well-rehearsed clucking, I mimicked the bird as the golf members came closer. I then pretended to lay eggs, which were, in fact, the golf balls hidden in my costume.

After 10 minutes of puzzled stares unto my person, one of the members realized that chickens do not lay Slazenger golf balls and shouted that’s not a real chicken! Upon hearing this and with a loud BAA-GAAARKK sound, I ran away!”

Interviewer: “My understanding is, that you where banned from the golf course, but 5 months later you were given full membership. How was this possible.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Well David, your name is David right?”

Interviewer: “No.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Well David, in the 5 months that passed I took up online gambling. I registered with 5 online casinos and played various games like poker and blackjack. I had much joy on the roulette table and it was a very thrilling experience.”

Interviewer: “Rumour has it you won a fortune.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Yes, I was playing one of these slot machines at and though it wasn’t the highest jackpot prize, I did scoop a pretty penny. Once I had won, I came to the club the next day and spoke with the manager. Once he saw I was of wealth and now carried a high degree of pomposity, I was welcomed as a member of the Mollington Golf Club.

Interviewer: “Incredible, so if it had not been for some compulsive urge to bet online and play those slot machines, you have not been able to be a member of the golf club.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “That’s pretty much what I’ve just said.”

Interviewer: “Before we leave, why the name Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “I’m afraid, that is far too personal.”

Interviewer: “Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV, Thank you for your time.”

Lord Dalston Cheese Cracker the IV: “Thank you David.”

Categories: news

The Mollington Cricket Club is a Great Place to Have Fun

Mollington has a great golf course, but it is also lucky enough to be able to say that it has a fantastic cricket club as well. If cricket and golf are your kind of sports, then it is safe to say that you will love Mollington.

About Mollington Cricket Club

The cricket lovers of Mollington and the surrounding areas often get together to play some cricket and socialise with their friends. They are nicknamed the Mollington Maulers and they participate in a number of friendly matches every summer. They will play against clubs from the Wirral, Cheshire, and they sometimes even go to Wales to play cricket.

They also take part in the Ashton Hayes 6-aside competition that is played every year. They won this competition back in 2001, the only trophy they have ever gotten their hands on. However, it must be emphasised that they mostly play for fun, not for trophies.

A Mollington cricket team has been in existence since 1903. Despite what some might say, there is nobody in the current team that was playing back then. Many famous sports teams now go by names that are different to the original club. For instance, not many people will know that Manchester United used to be called Newton Heath FC and that Milton Keynes were actually once known as Wimbledon.

Although Mollington Cricket Club are not as well known as the two aforementioned clubs, they used to go by the name of Pownall Transport. Pownall Transport was a company that employed six drivers who were cricket lovers. One day, they challenged one of their customers to a cricket match. However, as there were only six of them, they have to find some village residents to be able to field a team of eleven. The match was played on the local school field and was a great success.

It became an annual event and more of the locals started to gain interest in cricket. The Mollington Cricket Club was reborn from this event.

Anybody is Welcome to Join the Mollington Cricket Club

The main aim of those at the Mollington Cricket Club is to have as much fun as possible, which is why they are always happy to welcome anyone who shares the same love for cricket.

No matter what age you are or what your skill levels are, you will be accepted through the doors with open arms. To emphasise this fact, in the current team, the youngest player is 10 while the oldest player is 70.

It is important to point out that if you are a very competitive person, joining the Mollington cricket team is probably not something you should consider doing. This is because they often lose more games than they win. The current players don’t mind at all though as they just play because of their love for the sport.

A Great Place to Socialise

Cricket is a social sport, there is no doubt about that. The members of the Mollington Cricket Club love nothing more than going to the clubhouse after playing some cricket and enjoying some pints (orange juice for the youngsters) and a bite to eat.

If you live in Mollington and are interested in get to know the locals, we would recommend that you had on down to the Mollington Cricket Club. We promise that they won’t bite.

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